my life

hey yall

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 14:41:26 GMT

Hey yall i promised to write more well i'm writing!! i'm about to go out with a friend of mine named Keith Campbell! He's sweet at times but talks about sex to much!! I'm not into sex everyone that knows me knows that! i'm more of a cuddler, and a hug person!! I don't ever talk about sex and if i do it's with a girlfriend, or with my friends but never with a boyfriend!! :D so What to talk about hmm! lets see i'm lisen to 101.3 like normal!! Keith's pissed at me now! oh well he will get over it! i have better things to do then lisen to him wine about sex all the time he just told me that maybe he's not what i'm looking for i could of told him that! but i'm going to see and keep with our date! but who knows!! i'm tired of waiting on everyone who wants to wait forever! who wants to wait on mr. right when i can just go find him!! Theres so many people that like me that way but i don't want them! i guess i should be lucky! but theres one i want that i have dated before! that's all i want!! sigh who knows!! well i'll talk to yall later love yall lots!

Amanda

just a nother day

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 02:02:16 GMT

Just a nother day of break break! i should of knowen that!! Anthony james Treat was a wasite of my time!! having the worse day of my life! todays the last day of school thank goodnees! i will miss all my friens when i move, i'm moving to probelly florida or, ohio not sure yet going to go see Robert on july 11th through the 17th!!!! some of those days the is!! Robert picture is kl, he's growen up so much he's not my little brother anymore!! his girl friend denane!! well cya later
love always
Amanda

wazz up peeps!

Sun, 22 May 2005 16:25:18 GMT

it's been forever, been buzy not sure if i told you that Anthony on the 12th of this month broke up with me, i could really care less! but who cares i don't i stoped caring along time ago! Robert called me this morring and woke me up like he does all the dame time, it's starting to urk me! so what's new well lets see i'm getting a job and i'm going to go to ohio in August to go see a friend! his names cary hackler, he's kl when he wants to be! he's sending the plane ticket! and Anthony told me we broke up so he can have some time i told him take all the time he needs! i meat alot more people since last time! Robert told me he stoped talking to Amber and michelle i already know that's a lie he just dated michelle just resently he's such a dame lier grrrrr he totally pisses me off! like normal that boy so get's on my nerouves but who doesn't i have been more hard core about who my friends are i have less friends but wh needs friends who lie!!! not me a good friend told me that and i finly lisened! i'm a good liser, and a better give advise person, i'm changing so dame much now!! i'm not even thinking of marrige anymore, that's the last thing on my mind i'm going in to the army when i get out of high school probelly to go be a my army thing will be marine biologist and computer engineer! yeppers, what more can i say, talking to a friend name micheal, he thinks he worthless and i'm telling him he's not i'm such a good friend lol, why am i?? i don't really know! if u know the answer let me know! so..... hmmm... lets see, i meat somone speical a little speical friend, that's alot like me his name is george!! oh i meat somone from msn he called me yesterday his name is kyle he's really hot! i know alot of people i'm tellin u i go on chat almost everyday and meet new people more people like me is great as in pagans! i lisen to alot more music now, and i have a attude fit for a princess, my hairs more curly, and it's longer too! it's down to my boobies now!! it's so pretty and it's all natural, curly, red,brown,blond. i didn't touch it it's all natural! what can i say just don't know! charles called me yesterday he hasn't called me in like forever he's like i miss u i'm like so what! i'm missed by alot! i'm losing weight too, i'm only 210 now i was 237, i'm doing great and i'm working out i went swimming yesterday and on wensday it was so fucking cold!!! but it fauilt good to be free back in my water i'm going to try to get dad to take me to the beach today! but yeah well u know! well anyways i think i wrote enoff for now write more later catch yall on the flip side!! peace out!

hello world

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 01:58:24 GMT

answer me this why do guys always screw up my life i swear, i would like for just once a guy that would actly treat me kind. i can't ever do anything to help anyone and when i do just when i think it goes right it doesn't i get sick all the time because i don't take time to get better, oh and there always somthing to be done, dad always yells at me just to piss me off so when i cry i just want to die, i try to please him but what ever i do i fuck it up no matter what.i try to be daddys little girl be the best i can be and no matter what i do dad always says god dame you can do better then that are you rased in a barn. i swear somtimes i just want to run away!! i still haven't herd from dereck in god knows how long but i don't really care anymore i'm over trying to be nice to be ignored by others!!!!!! don't really care anymore i' tired of this life and i'm tired of living in it i so can't wait till i leave it!!! Robert called me and then said he was going to call me back and he didn't :( i want to die i want out of this life i want into the next one i want a better one were people would actly not treat me like i'm nothing were people would stop being so stuck up and would actly be nice the one were people helped one another and not just when they were in trobel!! well anyways i hope you all have great life i hope you never lie anymore then u hafe to and i hope that u don't die as early!!! well i'm bounce watch yall on the flip side!
love not Amanda

today in life

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 02:22:27 GMT

i went to the doctor and the doctor did somthing i didn't like and i hit him and dad hit me back, the doctor was hitting on me but he did somthing out of order and i sluged him i broke his arm. hey what can i say, today was a total drag, i have had a headege for 3 days stright, can't get ride of it, no meds work, no sleep works nothing works, somtimes i just wish people would let me be in my mind like it is i know i'm so tired of being hurt and being used, i can be kind and sweet, i'm diffrent in person i like to let people know what i feel they don't like it well tuff, everyone makes mustacks, like me and jeremey dating we were friends he loves me i don't that's why i stop our reationship 2 days ago i didn't want to hurt him to much to be so attached like others are it's just i didn't feel anything for him!! me and dereck are getting to know each other for the past 3 days now i know almost everything about desiree Rata Wright that's her full name she's so adorabel her dads little angel he's 29, he's a total sweetheart speically desiree she's like daddy treats me right and if he don't i'll get him lol, she's a little tom boy just like me but i'm older she's just like me when i was a kid a little helluion. but daddy always said i was a adorabel gelluion with my natural curly hair!! dereck told me today i bet you would look beautful in a dress, that's after i said that you wouldn't catch me dead in a dress, i hated them, lol, desiree is a good daughtor. i can't wait till i go up there to vist this summer, dereck said i can stay as long as i want and then he said 4-ever i hope, he's silly, but anyways it's geting lateand i have school in the morring so peace out and i love you all
love Amanda

hello it's me again lol,

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 02:03:01 GMT

i spent 6 hours talking with Dereck catching up on stuff, me and him text messanging each other lol, i learn so much about desiree she's so beautful for a little 4 year old, she's her dad's pride and joy, Derecks ok for now yet theres just somthing that's not right i don't want desiree to end up with noone like i have speically with my dad rasing me and he yells at me all the time, i have been working so hard resently to get my life back on track since my exadent, i can't seem to see why people want to end there life yet i understand because i have always wanted that for myself, i can only help who will let me help theres a thing called free will you can't mess with that. i'm lising to "in another eyes" by garth brooks and trisha yearwood. i loved yet yawnders hearts can't love back, my lifes being going out of fashion to many people wanting to butt into it tell me what to do, bad think to do it's my life stay out including you dad. dad was cusing at me because i didn't know what integety meat, i'm tired of this when i turn 18 i'm going to califorina and see some friends first theres Dereck and Desiree his daughtor and then i'll go see kris Cheemala, a dear friend of mine, but i hafe to get a better job so i can go there by flying. i talked to a old friend yesterday charles hansford russell, we talked for a while all he could talk about was "nicole" yuck grrrrrrr yeah i know nicoles his gf but i'm his friend so he needs to talk about us stuff to not just nicole, nicole, nicole, drive me insain why don't he lol, i'm going to the doctor tomorrow to get something check up on some stuff i hate going to the doctors office it always end up the same with bad news i hate bad news. oh and dereck if your reading this you got a point about me being a child, i am a child at heart yes i have a interchild and if i didn't then i must be crazy or getting to old lol, i love cartoons speically tom and jerry, i love them there the coolest, lol, now i'm lising to i breath in i breath out by chris cagle. well i'll catch you cool cats later
love Amanda

to my friends

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 00:07:41 GMT

Yeah i'm sure Amber you get a new start and that's great not everyone gets that so i'm so happy for ya!! i mean i might think about things but nothings really normal, well not anymore, me and dereck are talking were text messangeing each other lol!! he's in bed with boxers on lol he told me i didn't want to know lol!! Amber maybe what we were saying is true, about sertain things but yet noone will really understand most people but we seem to understand alot of people you like to help people in diffrent ways then i do! dereck told me so many times he's sorry for lieing and for loving a nother but does he really mean it, who knows Amber i know you have second thoughts about Dereck and everybody that's normal because i do about everyone to!! it's just not a safe place for anyone anymore to have there heart riped apart! yet most guys do that to girls and most girls do that to guys but most girls seem to cheat around here i swear like 7 girls down here right now i know is cheating on there bf and i think that's a bunch of bull shit i would never ever cheat i can't i won't!! i know how much it hurt me when guys were cheating on me and that happens more then once believe me, i know lol, ask Amber to guys cheat on her to that's what we have incommon but not going there i'm just glad were on speaking terms it sems like ever since a sertain guy went away we begain to talk again well i hafe to be going dinners ready thank god lol i'm starving lol!! later
love Amanda

muhahahahahahahaha

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 18:37:23 GMT

life it's somthing funny yet reviling, boaring yet exsiting, everyones diffrent yet the same, lifes full of challenges and non-venfull things, i know most people don't get what i'm saying yet noone really knows who i am or what i'm doing here on earther and i finly figered it out my part in life is to be the understanding one, like when dereck last sat. told me that he was tired of holding on and that the kemo theropy wasn't working and nothing else was eather and he said he's going to spend most of his time with his daughtor, ok i understand that because somtimes life isn't worth living if it's going to be filled with pain and suffering, yet i understand that but everyday somone somewhere is going through the same thing yeah i know people think that other people aren't really going through mch but there wrong everybody has there up's and downs!! i mean i do all the time i could have the worse week of my life and still have good sides to it to, i mean the good thing about dereck death is that his pain is going away the bad said is that he's leaving his daughtor with out a mother and now with out a father, he'a also leaving his friends and family that love him alot, yeah i know he lied and did everything wrong to be but noone deseves to die over it!! which i'm totally kl with it!! lifes only the pretail advangcuer, and death is the beaging of no ones voag!! Robert earl Harper jr, and I talked today on msn messanger he's doing great dating christal, she's great for him she's such a how do i say hmmm goodie goodie, she is a virgain and still has not been kissed yet and she's 16 then he had to go and he said he will call me at 8 tonight thank god i was so worried about him, he's off at another rodio not the safest thing to be at yet not the coolest, i mean i love to watch them but not with my brother in them, i see him get hurt or die i wouldn't know what u would do he's my brother i'm already losing one i can't lose another!!! Dereck it's yor choice not anyone elses, though i will miss the, well people that's it fortoday so far and it's only 1:34pm oh lord how boaring!!! well later
love Amanda

it's great to be me

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 01:33:18 GMT

yeah i know alot of things!! the military ball for those who care was great, i danced i got my freck on lol, i took my clothest friend jesse shaw!! others know him as my brother because were like that!! i know i have been a total bitch like all the time but i hafe to be if i don't like my baby says i will get walked all over!!! i hope dereck and Amber get married and have babys and live happy ever after i have a life believe me and it never said happy ever after what's up with that??? not sure but i will watch u later biches
love Amanda

life crazy

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 18:50:02 GMT

yeah i thought today would be the best day of my life well i was wrong again!! i though since i was going to the military ball with my brother got me a date, and a great dress, was going to have a great time!! i was wrong a old friend of mine called me and that totally changed my life!! this friend Is dereck danel wright, (cal) yeah well i thought i was going to here some good news because he has cancer i was wrong again!! he called me to tell me he gives up that he's not going to take kema therpy anymore :(( i could die right now!!! yeah i will say him and Amber did me wrong but aww man no one deserves to die like that, he's to young!!! even though he said he lied about his age, and lied about him not having a daughtor because he does have one he says she crys everyday knowing her dads going to die soon he said he can't take it anymore that the kema therpy not going to work!! pills didn't work, and the cancer spread through out his hole body and he's dieing i can't take this!! i'm not afrade of death but somone loves him and not me!!! i don't really care if i die god let me take his place!!!! i beg of the he's like a brother to me now!! :( oh please save him don't let his little girl hafe to grow up not have a father!!! yes i'm crying yeah so what i don't have anything going for me do please save him and if you do i might believe in ya!!! i need a merical come on gad help this poor boy!! Amber and michelle wont leave him alone!!! i just don't know anything any more!! i'm so worried yet i guess just don't know Amber called me and was crying i mean i understand that he wants to move on he hast to he said he will call me when he can!! i respect the he told me to think about good things so i can think good of him to find out in one day and that he has a daughtor well i new that but to find out that he's 29 well that's bull shit but he said everything will be ok soon because he is going to die well everythings not going to be ok he's dieing but it's noone fauilt but his for lieing to me and Amber i wonder if he even has cancer who knows well catch u later i have to get ready for the military ball!!
love Amanda

sunseat

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 19:03:22 GMT

dark eyes shader as we look into the eyes of truth,death is only the beining, fresh fire as you creash my skin i lye in blood so red so dark, dark demon goddest i call opon see the darkness of my ways see now the ocean crases and my wings spread, i see the sun seat and sun rise i see life and death just the same, i see the eyes of a lover, i see the eyes of another, dark well gates to the center of the soul the darkness falls apon that person as he thinks not with love but with hate, and as i look slowly in the mirrer i see nothing as i here the drums play and slowly turn around somone i could'nt see in the mirrer i see as the gates of heaven open, once they since the presents of hell and close the gates as a fairy comes to this man that can't be seen in a mirrer, the fairy says once was dark now is light, the man smiles and all his black close turn to white,and wings apear then i realized he's just like me! with the same story,as we fly away in the sunseat.
by Amanda Lynn Archer

my poem

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 18:50:26 GMT

dark eyes shader as we look into the eyes of truth,death is the beining, fresh fire as you creash my skin i lye in blood so red so dark, dark demon goddest i call opon you see the light and change your ways little peacies of light shines though her as a tear goes down her cheack, she slowly exstands her arms shacking she trasforms into a beautful swan, she swears to be good as she see's him she transforms once again to a princess a princess of good just as she did she was in a long galown and a handsome young boy looks once at her as he slowly turns he looks once more and notices her just standing there he takes a bow why my dear, she says why what, why did god put such a beautful young lady on this earth such as yourself! she blushes and says you really think so, he says of course, he says how rude of me im prince Robert, how very nice to meet you im princess as she quickly thinks of a name the fairy behind her says Amanda, he says what a beautful name to go with a beautful princess!she smiles as he askes why are you out at such hours of night, as she thinks of a lie up she says to look at my lake of pear beauty and divently, that it is my dear that it is,we are having a little get to gether i would be honored if you would acoment me(come with me) i would love too,they get to his village with the indains, as the boy shows his father the cheif the women the father bows and takes a look at her, he throws some power on her and then he says some words then she looks at him hoping he don't see though the act she given, the father says welcome to our tribe, i said thank you as he takes one more look at me as if he seen me before, then looks away, then prince Robert takes me to his powow thing and we all dance around as it getts later we leave the powow saying thats the most we ever danced as we leave he asked where i live i said in that pond u sall me at in other words i am a traviler i was a cherkey princess but that changed the day my mother banded me from the tribe because she was scared of what i was what they sall yet yall have treated me oh so better then Robert says will you stay here with us if u want i said i wouldent want to interupt anything he said no u stay with me as she smiled and blushes a little she says hmmmmm ok, then they live with each other start a family and live happy till the end of time.
by:Amanda Lynn Archer

one of My Poems

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 18:35:15 GMT

LIFE:

life's full of up's and down's, but yet who's life isn't? love is the most powerful feeling wearther good or bad, just like life and death. lifes about living to it's fullest and to live for others not only for your self to be in love and have the world at your fingertips. and death is when you think your journey is over yet noone ever knows when there journey is really over! it will go on in this life and the next! the buba said that life is always the beging of the life of the end of the quest, yes it sound diffculte to understand but it means your life isn't really over till you give up so never give up and give respect to everything and everyone you meet, wearther there nice or mean be kind so that you can say you gave life it's best!!!

lifes a posabilty deaths far more compucated!

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 18:32:23 GMT

lifes ok as long as Amber leaves me the hell alone she doesn't and she comes back here and i will kick her ass!! no doubt about it!! but other then that i'm movin on in life, besides for the fact Ambers such a bitch!!! but it's will soon all be ok, becuse like i always say death is only the begging, heres a nother quote lifes a posabilty and death is far more compucated!! or lifes full of disapointments you hafe to roll with the punches!! but anyways dereck called me complain about Amber again!! like i really care!! i have a speical somone that noone will ever have like mine were moving in together when i turn 18 can't wait!! :) lifes a point to be and death makes no since because it's not living!!! yet who really care about stuff like that exsepct me, everyone else thinks there going to live for ever, yeah right unlike me i know death is just the oppisite of life!! it makes since to me and what not it might be because i'm just speical that way!! but i have always been into skulls and death, but i also welcome death and life, i'm weird that way!! but anyways i'll write more later
love always Amanda

Hello Again

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 01:42:22 GMT

hello again for those who are reading my journals and what not i don't tye or talk that much in my jounals!! but when i do it's a point and very persice!!! i talked to dereck my older so called brother, lol, i like alot of people but i only loved one alot and it was dereck u know how that is, well Amber broke up with dereck omg and now what does she want i mean god, she steals him from me dates him and nows breaks up with him whats up with that????? i'm so glad i'm not going to date anyone and i told everyone i was so they would get over the hole dereck thing!! i'm speical Ambers being a totally bitch to me well later
love amanda

life's strange

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 02:48:57 GMT

life's really strange!!
I tell you what being a company commander is hard work, I hafe to take care of 30 kids if not more, I'm like a teacher and i'm only 17 1/2 almost 18 thank god!! lol only 181 days!! see i write in my journal mikes a dork, he wants me to marrie him but we havn't even meat yet and he aspeaks me to marrie him right off the bat, i think about alot, i want somone to love me for me, i want to see the world!! i'm going into the army no matter what i want to do somthing for my country plus i want to be a computer engnear, i want to go to californa to see Dereck Danelie wright, and kris Cheemala my brothers, i also want to go to flordia and see my brother Robert Earl Harper JR. i also want to go to kentuckey to see my friends Charles Hansford Russell, and Robert Tent Williams, I want to become somthing, i want to make my father proud of me, i want to make everyone that knows me proud of me, i want to make a diffence, i want to help and be helped!! i want to be loved and i want to love somone to!! i want to have a family and have a husben and a nice house but not till after i see the world i don't want to be tide down like a race horse i want to be free like the wild horses, i love to ride horses and will for ever, i'm a born cowgurl, noone can change that, i have a little goth in me to, i hope my friend Amber's life getts better well i hope her and dereck get married, and have a family, well g2g later
love Amanda